"I Abuse You for Your Own Good"

The following article, from the Psychology Today blog, gives an interesting insight into how "good, loving" parents are led to abuse their children.  The stereotype is that of overstressed parents losing control due to stress.  While this article doesn't nullify the truth of that stereotype, it shows how abuse can be rooted in "good parenting".  Being able to objectively critique your parenting style, as well as being aware of what is healthy/unhealthy is necessary to preventing abuse from "good parenting".  ~~Debra Contreras

(emphasis in excerpt supplied by me).

Patricia Crittenden has offered some interesting and relevant ideas that I believe may help answer the questions stated earlier (Crittenden, P. (2006). Why do inadequate parents do what they do? In O. Mayseless [Ed.], Parenting Representations (pp. 388-433). New York: Cambridge University Press). Among various categories of parental thoughts and behaviors Crittenden provided was one which she associated with a Canadian case reported in 2004, in which an adoptive mother kept two well-developed boys in cages, tied them, diapered them, and beat them, even into their teenage years. The boys were released to go to school (where they did well academically), but returned home to the cages and diapers each day. The mother had been severely abused in childhood and in marriage, and was diagnosed with PTSD, which Crittenden defined as a psychological disorder in which the mother was unaware of some aspects of past threats, but excessively aware of others.

Crittenden described the mother in this case as an example of what she called "parents who misconstrue powerful forces as threatening both themselves and their children, thus responding with irrational protective measures". These parents rely on experiences of danger from childhood memories that may or may not be accurate, so they become confused about whether there is danger in the present. Because there is no real danger in the present, the parent's actions cannot affect the perceived danger or relieve their fear.

In their attempts to feel less threatened, these parents may be drawn to belief systems that consider all or some human beings (for example, adopted children) to be inherently evil, and may express these beliefs by irrationally suspecting children of sexual predation or attempting to manage the child's urination and defecation in inappropriate ways. They may follow compulsive rituals like caging or demanding specific actions or postures from the child, while at the same time neglecting needs like food or medical care.

These parents may be committed to beliefs that demand faith-based rituals rather than normal mental health or medical care. They may also believe that punishment of the child is essential to prevent evil behavior, and that severe punishments such as confinement in cages, fasting, or heavy physical work are needed for this purpose. 

To read the complete article, go to Psychology Today blog, article title: 
Child Abuse: Why Do They Do It?