Transforming the Holidays

In the course of my life, I am thankful that my parents emphasized having good holidays. The most celebrated in our home were Thanksgiving and Christmas. We always decorated the house, enjoyed a celebratory meal, and typically participated in church activities. Of course, six children in the family meant attending a few school programs as part of the season. As we became adults, we celebrated holidays at a nice local restaurant just because it was easier in many ways. For me, this allowed me to begin creating holiday traditions of my own. I made my choices by what brought joy to my children's faces.  The holidays are too much fun to not celebrate...

Thanksgiving Day was always stay-at home days. I didn't have a crowded house on Thanksgiving, but I always ended up with a tableful. I usually chose to invite last minute guests, someone who would otherwise be alone on Thanksgiving. I also started decorating for Christmas after the Thanksgiving meal, which became a tradition in and of itself. All in all, I kept things very relaxed, very causal, but pretty because I like pretty things.

For those who have suffered abuse, the holidays can be very painful. It can also be emotionally tricky if you are recovering from an abusive relationship. I've known many survivors who choose to simply ignore the holidays to avoid the painful reminders they bring. Personally, I think that is sad. It is allowing the abuser to control what is happening in your life now. It robs you of joys that should be embraced. Haven't you suffered enough? Free yourself from the pain of the past by celebrating the joys in your life right now, today. Take back your holiday season by creating new traditions, and embracing all the joys of the season.

One of the best ways to heal the pain of any past is by creating your own new traditions. You are the author of your life, including the holidays: write new stories. This doesn't mean you have to throw out everything. Assess what works, what doesn't, and make adjustments. Keep what you are comfortable with and simply get rid of what you aren't.

Creating new traditions, a blend of old and new, is one way to take back control of your holidays instead of letting old memories control your life. This is such an important part of healing. Over the next two months, I am going to share information that is rather light hearted rather than serious.  It is my hope that you draw inspiration from these articles; that they help you heal by helping you re-claim the season as yours. 

Because the holidays are just too much fun and meaningful to not celebrate. Happy Holidays!

~~ Debra Contreras