We have talked about power of positive thinking, and how to change our habitual thought patterns to be more positive. However, this is accomplished only through mental discipline. Another factor to address when dealing with negative thoughts is their cause, or root. In some cases the source for these negative thoughts are imaginary; these are easiest to address as you can simply dismiss them. At the same time, negative thought patterns can be a signal that we need to make changes in ourselves or our lifestyles.
Since environmental variables influence our thought patterns, honestly accessing their influence is an important exercise. A word of caution for this exercise: the purpose of this exercise is NOT to make major life changing decisions!! The immediate goal is to simply identify negativity that is not inwardly created but are responses to environmental factors. Being able to recognize and neutralize those influences as well as their effects on life is an important cognitive and emotional skill. The end result of this exercise to identify triggers in your life that create negativity.
The first environmental factor to analyze is your activities--your daily routine. I have a friend, for example, who gets extremely irritated if she goes too long without eating. To neutralize the negativity that creates, she has to stay on regular mealtimes. If she gets too off-schedule, she will become absolutely unappeasable. The purpose of this exercise is to concisely identify any contributors of negativity.
Think about your day. How do you honestly feel when you wake up in the morning? Ideally, you should look forward to the day (this is different than being a morning person). How does your mood fluctuate during the day, and why? The majority of the day should be spent engaged in activities you enjoy with people you enjoy at some level (not everyone needs to be your best friend). How do you feel when you go to bed at night: does it differ from the morning? If so, how and why?
The second environmental factor to analyze is the influence of those around you. Make a list of the people you interact with each day. Consider their attitudes, verbal patterns, and behaviors. Now honestly and thoughtfully consider the way you respond to their presence. If there is negativity, what steps can you take to neutralize that negativity?
It is important to remember that you can only control yourself, not others. That means seeking solutions that start with you, such as the way you respond to negativity. It is also important to recognize exactly where the unpleasantness is rooted. For example, you may have feelings of dislike for a task at work, and that negativity hovers over the person you do the task with; be sure to be able to differentiate between factors.
Thirdly, analyze the influence of your physical environment. According to Abraham Maslow, there is a hierarchy of needs that have to be met in order to for a person to be happy and develop. At the lowest level, physiological needs have to be met. Once those are met, we need to feel safe. When safety is achieved, we can then develop and satisfy our needs for love and belonging. After love and belonging needs are met, we can develop our needs for esteem, then self-actualization. Identify where you are currently at on this level of needs and how your physical environment supports or detracts from where you are now, and where you want to be. (Printable diagram here)
Now that you have identified negativity that is a result of factors in your environment, you can take steps to neutralize those factors. Make a list and prioritize the negative influences you identified in your assessment. Beside each item, identify one or two workable solutions. That means an action that is actually do-able. Make it an action that you can live with and within. For example, if you have a nagger in your life, communicate with that person to:
1). Make them aware of the issue.
2). Create a solution to the problem.
When and if talking fails, seek alternatives. Eliminate as many stress factors as possible from your life.
Surround yourself with positive energy by surrounding yourself with positive people. Make your home and work environments suitable to your disposition. Be sure your environments are scalable, meaning they allow you to grow in positive directions.
Upon completion of this assessment, you should have created two lists. The first defines the negatives in your life. The second list identifies strategies to neutralize negative influences in your life. Each factor should be individually addressed. If there are factors that can not be immediately solved, look at how to manage or minimize them. For example, if quitting your job is not possible, how can you manage the negativity it creates?
When looking for solutions, keep this in mind: "You always have a choice. There is always another way to do it."
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