Ask yourself these five questions for fostering the closeness of your family. Honestly evaluate your answers. Are you satisfied with your answers? If not, use the suggestions to rediscover the joys of parenting and family.
1. Have you lost your focus?
1. Have you lost your focus?
It's easy to lose sight of the greater picture. The everyday duties can become so time consuming that we forget the real reason for our pursuit. All children (and spouses) deserve to be cherished and adored. Make sure your children find that today. If you have this as your only goal for any given day, you'll find the goal easy to meet - and your relationships with your spouse and children will strengthen and thrive. Today, make a commitment to identify and to live from your true values and priorities. Often, this involves being a nurturing and caring provider for our loved ones.
2. How do you manage daily household duties?
You do your children a tremendous service by teaching them the skills necessary to living productively. One way to reduce the time of daily duties is by getting everyone involved. By reducing the time spent performing daily duties you gain free time for more fun activities. Working together also builds a sense of responsibility and teamwork. Remember, your job as a parent is to develop your children into responsible, productive, and self-sufficient adults.
You do your children a tremendous service by teaching them the skills necessary to living productively. One way to reduce the time of daily duties is by getting everyone involved. By reducing the time spent performing daily duties you gain free time for more fun activities. Working together also builds a sense of responsibility and teamwork. Remember, your job as a parent is to develop your children into responsible, productive, and self-sufficient adults.
3. Have you created and keep regular family traditions?
Family traditions could be a monthly pizza night, a weekly TV night, or a simple daily ritual of lighting candles at the dinner table. Plan for benevolent and loving surprises by keeping a supply of special dishes, games, and/or other treats. Use computer certificates to create a scrapbook of children's accomplishments whether small or large. Traditions and rituals act as a stablizer for children's lives.Traditions add meaning to everyday life.
Family traditions could be a monthly pizza night, a weekly TV night, or a simple daily ritual of lighting candles at the dinner table. Plan for benevolent and loving surprises by keeping a supply of special dishes, games, and/or other treats. Use computer certificates to create a scrapbook of children's accomplishments whether small or large. Traditions and rituals act as a stablizer for children's lives.Traditions add meaning to everyday life.
4. What commands your attention regularly?
Are you truly focused on the home or family, or is it a place of busy work for you? Do you escape from home via other activities, such as work or leisure activities? While both these are valid and necessary, be sure to check for balance regularly. It is easy to get caught up in activities both inside and outside of the home. You should make being truly present with your family a priority. Kids are particularly adept at knowing when parents are distracted. Here's a great book that teaches this philosophy and practice: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by John Kabat-Zinn and Myla Kabat-Zinn. Practice mindfulness and good listening in your home life.
Are you truly focused on the home or family, or is it a place of busy work for you? Do you escape from home via other activities, such as work or leisure activities? While both these are valid and necessary, be sure to check for balance regularly. It is easy to get caught up in activities both inside and outside of the home. You should make being truly present with your family a priority. Kids are particularly adept at knowing when parents are distracted. Here's a great book that teaches this philosophy and practice: Everyday Blessings: The Inner Work of Mindful Parenting, by John Kabat-Zinn and Myla Kabat-Zinn. Practice mindfulness and good listening in your home life.
5. What do activities, and how much time, do you spend in nurturing your family each and every day?
Household maintenance does not count here. You need to commit yourself to doing something special to nurture the family relationship daily. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. A simple phone call, a special bedtime song, a note in your child's lunchbox, an "I love you" post-it on the dashboard of the family car... The simplest sentiments are often the most lasting and impressive. Remember that love not expressed soon fades and is lost. Relationships are two way streets: you must give your children attention in the same ratio you want of their attention.
Household maintenance does not count here. You need to commit yourself to doing something special to nurture the family relationship daily. It doesn't have to be big or expensive. A simple phone call, a special bedtime song, a note in your child's lunchbox, an "I love you" post-it on the dashboard of the family car... The simplest sentiments are often the most lasting and impressive. Remember that love not expressed soon fades and is lost. Relationships are two way streets: you must give your children attention in the same ratio you want of their attention.
The purpose of family life isto create a safe, nurturing environment. The purpose of the safe, nutruing environment is to grow confident, happy adults. The purpose of growing confident, happy adults is to gift the world, by our parenting skills, with productive citizens. The end goal of parenting is to raise children who still love us, but do not need us. By creating a home of happiness and health today, such noble goals are not only achieveable, but enjoyable.
~~Debra Contreras
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